What is your most ambitious goal? Mine is to own a super yacht one day. I have already named her too!
So what has stopped you from reaching that goal already? We know from the biographies of hugely successful people that we have the potential to go from flat broke to billionaire.
What does it take? Smarts and a whole lot of hustle. But hustle is really hard work. A lot of us just can’t muster enough energy for this level of effort. And as women, there are so many demands on us already. Is it really so unreasonable when we just want to drink wine in our pajamas and watch TV?
Laziness is not a symptom
As a trained life coach I have met a fair number of women who have fantastically creative minds and the desire to accomplish great things. But at the end of the day, when they are finished with their responsibilities, all they are fit for is sleeping.
Week after week, month after month, their intentions are the same. To find some time to dedicate to following their aspirations, without dropping the ball on their responsibilities. Yet, time after time they fall short of their goals.
Some clients have come to me saying that they are ‘too lazy’ to fulfill their creative potential. As a coach, but also as a human being, I feel conflicted about this statement.
When I fall short of a goal, I too berate myself, saying that I am ‘too lazy’. Unfortunately, this is what our society has raised us to do; to be harsh with ourselves. But when clients approach me with issues of ‘laziness,’ it rings alarm bells for me.
I believe that people who are genuinely slack are also full of excuses, so would not actually label themselves as lazy. These people are the ones who tell you that they will never reach their aspirations because they are unlucky, or because life is unfair, but it is not for their lack of trying.
I believe that people who brand themselves with the ‘lazy’ title are not the truly lazy ones, and are in one of two general categories. They are either overstretched, or they are self-sabotaging. And they call themselves lazy simply because we have been raised to berate ourselves rather than to exercise self-love when we are falling short of our goals.
Lots of people know what they want to do, but do not know where to start. For example, an online business requires a website. That is a huge point of overwhelm for many people. They fear having to either pay a professional a lot of money to build a site for them, or make their brain hurts for weeks trying to figure it out on their own.
When you have no idea where to start it is just easier not to. We end up frozen, tired from overthinking, and before we know it, we are watching Netflix in bed.
There are also many of us with a negative story about life they learned in childhood, who are subconsciously trying to prove that story right.
The mean little voice in our head tells us that it is too hard to start a new business, to go for that promotion, or to learn a second language. Sadly, that mean little voice is an integral part of us. We did not create it, we did not invite it, but it’s an echo from all the negative messages we heard growing up.
Humans like to be ‘right’ about things. So if we prove our mean inner voice to be correct, then we are subconsciously rewarded, even if the overall result is failure.
This is the logic behind the bizarre self-destructive behavior we sometimes see in brilliantly clever and creative people. They have the most wonderful ideas, but deep inside themselves, something is telling them they will not make it. And so they make sure that they do not through their behaviors.
So what can you do?
I would suggest some self-reflection to find out the underlying cause of your ‘laziness.’ Are you exhausted, overwhelmed, or is it the mean voice in your head making you retreat to the land of sleep?
Try asking friends or family for their opinion, they do know you well and might offer a different perspective that you had not seen for yourself. Or why not try a few coaching sessions to get to the root of your issues? You might surprise yourself with what you learn.