When you meet someone, the days turn into a magical Disney romance. The numbers are exchanged, you meet over drinks for the first time, and the chemistry is impossibly perfect. Everything seems too good to be true; and it is, because your boyfriend suddenly loses interest and vanishes from sight.
Now you are left asking yourself what the reason for this disappearing could have been. Was it something you did? Or were there extenuating circumstances? Here are some reasons why your boyfriend lost interest:
1. You saw him as an idea or object
Gasp! Sorry, ladies, as much as I am a feminist, we also sexualize and reduce men to objects from time-to-time. Before your start angrily shaking your fist at me, let me explain.
Does this sound familiar? During the first few dates, the two of you hit it off really well. You enjoy the complimentary drinks, despite offering to go Dutch. Then around the sixth time you meet up, you find yourself expecting things instead of enjoying him.
Additionally, you are fantasizing about the possibilities of where the two of you will go together. But you no longer see the person in front of you. Rather he is now the ship that sails you to the future.
2. You are clingy and insecure
As a result of number one, you change. It may be unconscious, but you become clingy, in constant need of reassurance, or volatile, because it can only be the future for you two. And you need to know that the image is going to happen. The insecurities make you look like a crazy lady.
For men, insecurity is a frightening thing. As is putting others down to make yourself feel better. In his eyes, you are no longer seeking to learn about who he is, only what he can offer. For that reason, he will lose interest and not be able to tolerate the relationship anymore.
3. He is dealing with personal issues
While it might be odd to think of men as anything other than superheroes, knights in shining armor, or Batman-like dark knights without a need for emotions, we know that is a lie. Men and women both have emotional baggage and issues from their past that continue to haunt them.
Just like how you might have separated from relationships in the past because something causes an old scar on your heart to throb, he might have felt the need to do the same. While you may be thinking that you could have helped, let me say this: Not all inner battles can be won by relying on someone else.
Read also – 8 Things to Know Before You Date an Entrepreneur
4. He is not ready to commit
This may be a no-brainer. When things are going extremely well, and every day is sunshine, a sudden onset of wintry weather means one thing: That he was not ready to stop playing the field.
The hints you may have been dropping, like telling him about all your friends getting married and having kids could have scared him. Commitment, after all, is a choice. When people do not want to commit yet, they will absolutely not force themselves to do it.
Unless you want to set yourselves up for a dissatisfying marriage and divorce, that is. Neither of you is at fault for this. Preparedness for commitment is not something that happens overnight. Do not blame him for not making a mistake.
5. He likes the chase
The pursuit is oftentimes more fun for men than actually having a meaningful relationship. Chasing tail, so to speak, is a pastime some people commit to rather than people. He will lose interest rapidly once he got the goal – whatever that goal was. Again, this is not your fault, and you cannot change a man who loves chasing women.
6. He is a jerk
I originally had this bullet titled with a much more adequate epithet for this type of man, but for the sake of civility, I changed it. Some men lose interest simply because they suck. Jerks will lose interest the moment a prettier girl walks by, if you gain two pounds, do not work out, say something silly, or even if you sneeze incorrectly.
These are the guys that make remarks in Cosmopolitan like, “Well, she could have been a 10 if she stopped eating so much.” Jerks will make you believe it was all you. In reality, it is all them, and they will never be happy.
7. One of you loves another
I am not talking about cheating. What this means is that one of you has developed feelings for another person, and the other can sense it. Men are much more likely to simply cut ties with you because of this.
Women, on the other hand, will oftentimes try to dismiss these feelings, leading to awkwardness in the relationship. Do not blame each other for the change. If you fall in love with someone else, it simply means that the two of you were not meant to be.
Read also – Why Your Love Fell Apart So Fast
Men lose interest in their girlfriends for a bunch of reasons. Some of those reasons are real and understandable. Others are just because people suck sometimes, and there is nothing we can do to change that. The key is understanding how we can carry on, loving ourselves, and just waiting for the person to come who accepts us for who we really are.