Life is messy, it is hard and it hardly every time goes according to plan. We often find ourselves in situations where we are hurt, betrayed and distraught as to how situations and people could turn out opposite to what we thought. If that happens we tend to run as far as possible away from it, avoiding the discomfort and confrontation that is thrown our way at all costs. Why would we want to put ourselves through that, right?
Yes, our first instinct might be to run away from our problems, as far as possible and to avoid it as much as we possibly can, but that is not the only toxic thing we do. After that we tend to numb ourselves and pretend it never happened, as if we were and are not affected by it whatsoever.
Lastly, we find our problems have finally caught up with us and we have no idea how we will deal with it – it hits us like a brick wall and we feel ourselves drowning in never-ending and dark pools of pain, regret, betrayal and many times, fear. We find ourselves asking how we are ever going to make it out of these all-consuming waters.
However, I am here to tell you that you can survive discomfort and pain and be resilient in your life. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it – you will not only grow as a person, but you will have a strength and a resilience about you that not many others have. You will be one step closer to the lioness you were always born to be – we need you, the world needs you.
We are not meant to shrink back, be overwhelmed and discouraged; we are meant to enjoy every day living, despite the opposition we might face every once in a while. The day opposition does decide to challenge us, we need to face it head on and not run from it, and here is how:
1. Get it out of your system
Journal about it, talk about it, or use any other method to get it from the inside of your mind, out into the open. I find that once you have put things on paper, it no longer consumes your every thought. It is out of your system and you can now face it and deal with it in a way that is not obscured by heightened emotions and irrational thought.
2. Look the enemy straight in the eyes
Acknowledge the problem you have just written down and find a quiet place where you can still your heart and mind enough to analyse where it came from and how it affects you. Many times the problem is smaller than you believe it to be.
Many times the problem is not the person itself, but the situations that the person is or was going through and was forced to deal with in his or her way – and their actions against you might just have been the aftermath of those difficult situations.
However, many times it might be other, greater forces at play. Forces that is completely out of our control, for example: A dream unfulfilled, a sudden illness or death, career vulnerability, a sudden potency to leave everything and everyone behind because of some imminent danger.
There are many other outside forces out there that are unique to each individual. It is due to our lack of complete control that it is so important to get to a place where we can look at it from an outside perspective in order to be resilient and get some peace of mind; a place where we can look at it analytically and not be obscured by our negative emotions.
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3. Gain a new perspective
Once you face the problem head on, it loses its power over you. We start seeing that although this is something negative and adverse that has happened or is happening in our lives – we can use it for a greater purpose, not only for ourselves, but for someone in our lives that might be going through the same thing.
We have to realize that we get to grow and develop as human beings and inspire other to do the same. We get to choose if the situation controls us or if we control it. Your power lies not in you being excessively emotional over something; your power lies in allowing yourself to experience the emotions, but not be consumed and controlled by it – like a puppet on a string.
4. Realize that we are a part of nature
Recently I was amazed by how despite mankind’s effort, nature always finds a way to rebel against constraints placed upon it and eventually prevail in the end: I went for a jog in the park and saw how something as simple as weeds have the strength to crack and break through cement roads in order to bloom into a beautiful and joyfully, yellow flowers.
The thing is we are a part of nature: Just as everything in nature evolves, so do we. In other words, if something as simple and small as weeds can eventually have the resilience to break through something that overpowers and literally cements it down – so can we.
It will take patience and an inner strength and determination you might think you lack, but that you without a doubt have – we all are born with these characteristics; it is hostile experiences and choices that turn those strengths into weaknesses, thus turning us into flight risks.
As mentioned before, this will not be the easiest road you will choose to travel. You will have to fight your emotions every day, you will have to start making changes for the good; you will have to get rid of some things and some people in your life that are a bad influence and that only bring you down and you will have to start surrounding yourself with positivity, love, hope and encouragement.
5. The fight is not over, victory can be yours
Take some classes to improve your life, keep a reclamation diary, expressing the good and the bad that is happening in your life, live presently in the moment and fight through the cramps that might threaten to incapacitate you completely. The fight is not over, victory can be yours – but you have to consciously decide not to run away and make up excuses for why you are allowed to back down. Just be resilient no matter what.
If there is any sort of war inside your head claiming that you are not worth it and that you are too weak, you have got to put up a shield of positive affirmations and believe in it. Have faith in yourself – you have made it thus far, you can and will make it further.
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Sometimes you will have to go through things a few times and learn lessons over and over again, until you acquire the knowledge and the skill to defeat the enemy. However, if you decide to just leave it in the hands of fate, believing that it will sort itself out, then my advice to you is that you should start getting comfortable, because nothing will change – in fact, it might even get worse.
It is a choice you make. One thing I can guarantee if you decide to fight this is: Beauty can come from your ashes. There is a strength inside you that you deserve to discover and live in, it is up to you to make that choice.
Do you choose to always be running away and to constantly find yourself out of breath? Or do you choose to be determined and strong, like the flower breaking through the concrete in order to bloom?