Jun 22, 2016

I Thought I Was His Priority

We had been dated for more than two years but I had never felt I was one of his priorities. I do not count parents, but I believe every man should make his woman a priority. Friends are great, but they should be in a third place, after parents and girlfriend.

My ex has always made his friends a priority but when we were together he wanted to be my priority and got mad each time I spent a few hours with my friends. I knew my relationship was not healthy, but I hoped he would change one day.

The sweet beginning

My abusive relationship started out really sweet. There were romantic date nights, spontaneous getaways, flowers, sweets, teddy bears, gifts and tons of attention and care. I did not feel anything wrong from the beginning. But then the relationship turned out sour. As soon as he realized that I was his, he stopped putting efforts into our relationship.

He was not there when I needed him. He would rather go to his friend to have some drink than spend a romantic night with me. Actually, I know it was my fault. I let him feel relaxed. I took too much responsibilities for the relationship that had no future.

Hope dies last

That is what held me back from leaving him and building a new, healthy relationship instead. I have no idea why I stayed in a toxic relationship and why I forgave him whenever he abused me. Maybe it was because I loved him or because I used to him. Or, maybe I was just afraid to be lonely again.

The girls who were in the same situation at least once would definitely understand my hesitations and my feelings. But now I know that hope never dies last when it comes to unhealthy relationships. The longer you stay in them, the more pain and suffer you experience.

Read also – I Let Him Shape Me into a Person That I Was Not Meant to Be

Red wine is the best friend

When my ex hung out with his friends, red wine was my best friend. I knew I could not meet my friends because he would get angry at me, so I filled my evenings and nights with tears and too much red wine. I did not feel better, though. I woke up with severe headaches and felt weak and exhausted.

At those moments, I hated myself and him more than ever. All I wanted was his care, attention, and love. I craved his attention and got jealous when he paid all his attention to his friends. I would not be that frustrated if he spent more time with his parents or siblings. But he always chose friends.

I have made myself a priority

If no one made me a priority, I came to a conclusion that I had to do it myself. Now I know that no one, including a boyfriend, is going to value me until I learn to value and respect myself first. I stop waiting for approval from others. If I want to do something, I will do it. I’m still trying to put myself first in any situation and I believe that I have enough power to move forward.

Read also – 7 Ways to Remind Yourself How Fabulous You Are

I can’t take time back, but I know that my future boyfriend will make me his top priority

If not, I will break up with him right away. I am not going to waste my life on the wrong guy. I already wasted two years. I learned my lesson. The breakup is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying in a toxic relationship where you feel like a trash. I am better off alone than with someone who makes me his fifth priority.

Most girls do not know they are digging themselves into a hole by staying in abusive relationships. If you feel like your relationship is slowly ruining your life, get yourself out of it. You deserve a better partner. Let him go his own way. You will feel an instant relief, I promise. I know it from my own experience. Do you think a woman should be a priority to a man?

Related Posts