Let us get one thing straight: Breaking up is hard. Having your heart broken is even harder. It is a filthy business filled with heartache, tears and possibly resentment. We have all been there; either we were the ones to have our hearts broken or we were the ones to do the breaking up, and it does not make it any easier being the one responsible for another person’s pain.
This is why we often revert to the polite LJBF phrase in order to try as much as possible to avoid social embarrassment, hurt feelings and ensuring you do not end up with a stalker on your hands – let’s just say social media stalking does not count.
If you have been in this situation you probably know how this uncomfortable dilemma unfolds. But if you have not been there, and are contemplating the possibility of letting the person you are dating or are in a relationship with down easily; here are a few things you need to consider before uttering this dreaded phrase, “Let’s just be friends.”
1. Disintegration of the friendship foundation
Many of you were friends before you started dating and found yourself falling in love with each other. Nonetheless, once you find that things are not working out between the two of you and you let him know that you want to be “just friends,” you have to realize that things will possibly never be the same again.
After all, too much water has run under the bridge and despite your effort to let him down easily, his ego will most likely be bruised and if he loved you – he will be hurt. It is unfortunate to see the friendship dissolve, but if the two of you were not meant to be as a couple you have to say something and be honest about it.
You do not have to be cruel, but you do owe him the decency of being open about why you feel it did not work. Do not hang onto something that no longer has the possibility to grow into something better and stronger; something that no longer has a potential and a future.
If you hold on in order to save the friendship you will murder any chance of salvaging all the good aspects of the relationship. The relationship will turn into something more unpleasant and toxic for the both of you and you will start resenting each other.
You have to decide how important this person is for you and how much you care about him. Is he important enough for you to try and stay friends? Do you care enough about him to allow him to find happiness somewhere else?