Losing, in general, is something we are wired to despise from a young age; whether it be coming last at a track day or losing your financial stability, a dream or a loved one. We want to win, we want to be secure, we want to chase the thing that once brought such light to our lives with the passion we felt for it and we want to have our loved ones in our lives to experience all the different phases we go through on our journey.
Yet, life often comes and throws a dodgeball straight into our guts, causing us to fly across the room and land on our bums, gasping for air. Despite the pain of being bashed down, we can choose to take a deep breath, stand up and grab the same ball that knocked us down and, with all our might, thrust that ball back into life’s face – refusing to retreat and be defeated.
It all depends on your attitude
You have to understand that it all depends on our attitude and where we choose to place importance in life. It is a given that we grow attached to people and things in our lives. But we have to learn that life has the tendency to bounce around between the good and the bad and we need to attune our attitudes and mental states in such a way that despite what happens, we do not allow it to affect us in disastrous ways.
Life goes on; it is always moving forward and it never looks back. It is alright to feel lost and dazed, but it is important to regain yourself in order to keep up with all the wonderful things life can still offer you. It might not feel that way now, but one day you will look back and see you made it through and you are stronger, wiser and more equipped for the future.
When you lose everything, it is extremely easy to feel a distorted sense of self. The thing or the person that was once so delicately woven into your character and personality, that was basically your heartbeat, has disappeared and with what are you left with? An emptiness; a hollowness that threatens to drown you.
Do not give in. Go back to your essence, the person you were before the attachment and the succeeding loss and believe in that person. You might feel unsure and insecure, but keep holding on to that image of a person you know you are down at your core, eventually your confidence and security will return. Do not settle into your shell and operate your life from your comfort zone, you and the world deserve better than that.
You are not defined by the loses you have had, but by the strength you had to stand up and fight back. It is all in how you choose to handle adversity that defines who you really are and what you are capable of.
Failure and loss are not final, and to allow ourselves to be defined by circumstances beyond our control will only bring forth disappointment and sadness. We have to believe in ourselves and in the absoluteness of good things that do still happen.
Character is fate
Heraclitus once proclaimed a truth that rings true today, “A man’s character is his fate.” This basically boils down to the fact that who you are and what you choose to stand for, will determine the life you lead and the legacy you ultimately leave behind. Things and yes, people are replaceable, but your legacy is what the world will inherit – make sure it is one that inspires love, compassion and a ceaseless strength that is undreamed of.
Character is the one thing you cannot lose through circumstances beyond your control. To lose it is a choice that will leave you in a state that is reminiscent of an empty shadow roaming the earth with no sense of direction or standards. Ask yourself what is you want to be known for and remember that you have the power of choice in your hands.
The ups and downs will sculpt you in ways you never deemed possible
The ups and downs of life will shape and sculpt you in ways you never deemed possible – but, if you allow it, it will make you into a better version of yourself. One day people will reflect on who you were and what you stood for more than what they will reflect on what you owned and who you were with.
As we are approaching the end of 2016 and ruminating on all the ups and downs of this year, it is very easy to get lost in all the fatalities of the different battles we faced. We might feel distraught and hopeless and it might feel like the end, and in some ways it is. However, it is also the beginning.
Bring your knowledge and strength into 2017
You now have the power to use the knowledge and strength you gained in 2016 and bring it into 2017, ensuring it is a better year for yourself and your loved ones. Yes, 2017 does not promise a smooth course and you are sure to encounter the year’s unique set of battles.
But if you choose to believe in yourself, know that how you choose to handle the looming threats will determine your outcome of either victory or defeat and if you use all the experiences and wisdom you have gained in the past, you will be sure to dodge some of the life’s fatal attacks and even throw a few punches in return.
I would like to end off with a tremendously wise life lesson Buddha once said, and which I believe each of us should keep engraved as a saving grace and a guiding light in our hearts and minds, “In the end of it all, only three things will matter.
The first is how much you loved the world and all that occupy it, the second is how gently you chose to live your life and the third – which is something I myself have to strive towards and still accomplish – is how graciously you decided to let go of the things that were ultimately never meant for you.”
Hold on, losing everything does not mean the end. It might just mean you are becoming more than you ever dreamed of. It is a new beginning.