Mr. Right and Prince Charming are the stuff of legends. There, I said it. While you can spend a majority of your time searching for the one who fits your idea of perfection, there are actually realistic traits you should be looking for in the human being you desire to spend the rest of your life with. Because, while he might seem like everything now, there are specific qualities you should look for in a future husband.
Obvious quality, I know. So why is it that people so often forget to consider how committed they are to one another before tying the knot? I know I want someone who is committed to the relationship as they are to waking up in the morning and succeeding at life.
I want someone who understands that relationships require effort but is not frightened by the premise. Because, obviously, if he is committed to me and the time we spend together, he is going to maintain that view when we get a house, a dog, potentially have a baby, and then work towards retirement.
Perhaps it is just me, but I prefer engaging debates over a cup of coffee to mindlessly staring at the television. Having a partner that is as voraciously curious as I am is a huge plus. As awesome as it is to hook up with an Adonis whose muscles make you swoon, knowing that there is more to his mind than a single sexual circuit is important.
Why? Because you need to tackle problems together. When times get rough, you need to be able to rely on someone who functions as highly as you do, comprehends where you are coming from, and is insightful enough to offer advice.
It could be because I am not high maintenance and loathe being doted upon, but a quality I want in a future husband is appreciation. Let me marry someone who sees what I am doing when I endeavor to make him smile and shows thanks for it in some way. It does not have to be much.
A hug or handwritten note expressing true emotion is so much better than pearls and clothes. As long as we appreciate the time we spend together, savoring the little things that just seem better when we are around, happiness is never out of reach.
Whether or not you consider yourself a creative human being, always search for a guy who makes you imagine wild and crazy adventures. I am not just talking in the bedroom, either. For example, aside from imagining what life together would be like, can you imagine him with children?
Can you imagine him getting on a plane, climbing mountains together, or backpacking through a foreign land? See, imagination precedes fun; and if he is just as imaginative as you are, then there will never be a dull moment. The trick is finding the man who synchronizes with your idea of what “imagination” is.
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Love me for me – that is all I ask. I am sure that you often feel the same way. The biggest mistake people make when they get into relationships or marry and have children is that they do it with someone who disparages and criticizes every move they make.
The instant a guy tries to change me in a way that I am not comfortable, I know he is not the one. My future husband will accept my quirks, my goals, and my likes and dislikes because he realizes that those things are what make me who I am.
Though being a damsel in distress is totally not me, I would like a knight in shining armor once in a while to come to the rescue. How many times have you dated someone who refuses to sacrifice time for you, even when you really need help with something?
Do you really want that kind of person not helping when you have children and other responsibilities? Or worse, just standing there and doing nothing? I know I would not last two months in a relationship like that. I need a partner, a sidekick. Not a man-child.
7. Growth mindset
This is, of course, rooted in other facets of what to look for in a future husband. Someone who does not have an aim for the future is not someone you want to be with in the future. I once asked a guy I was dating, “So what is one of the goals in your life? What do you really want to do?” He could not answer me. No goals, no aspirations, no dream.
Okay, good luck supporting a family with that kind of perspective. So look for a man who as a plan. It might not be written in stone, but he should at least have a vision that propels him forward. Better for you if you are in it.
Lastly, I want a husband who is approachable. Blame it on parent issues, but I dread winding up in a relationship where I cannot speak to my husband as a friend. Where I fear what he thinks of me and my opinions. Moreover, I would never want to be in a marriage with someone who emotionally shuts down and gets distant, towards me or our children. A good husband is one who, in spite of everything that life throws at him, continues to be open and responsive towards the family.
Although writing this has made me feel like a might be forever alone, I can assure you that these are what makes for a matrimonial bliss forevermore. Instead of aiming for the two-dimensional man, such as the jerk, the jock, or the workaholic, opt for someone who adds something special to all the important values in your life. He will add something new every day by creating dreams, not ending them.