It seems like more and more adult children are relying on their parents to bail them out of difficult situations these days. Parents want to save their children, no matter what their age is, from pain and misery, so if they can help, they do. However, this might not be what is best for your adult children when it comes to loaning them money. Consider these reasons for not loaning money to your adult children.
1. Your funds can be depleted over time
This is important to consider because even though you feel this is just a one-time deal and will not break your piggy bank, the ease of receiving the loan might create a new habit for your adult children. They may feel that they can count on you whenever they need some financial help.
Over time, that can lead to your funds depleting. Often times retirement money is depleted because of this behavior. Consider whether it’s worth it to you to lose your money you’ve worked hard for.
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2. Maturity level
You will also need to consider the maturity level of your child. If they show consistent responsibility and wisdom when it comes to managing their money, and they are just having a difficult time for the time being, then maybe the loan is a way you can help them out temporarily.
However, if they are constantly in trouble or late on their bills, you might want to reconsider the offer to help. Will loaning them the money help them mature, or does it just enable them?
3. Relationship deteriorates
Loaning money to friends and family is risky because the relationship you have with them can easily deteriorate due to hard feelings if the loan is not paid back or more money is asked for.
You have to be extremely careful when it comes to lending money to those close to you. It is easy for everyone to take the relationship for granted, which may end up being deadly to the closeness you once had.
4. Paying back is not priority
As I mentioned above, relationships tend to get taken advantage of when things are easily handed out and so paying back is not a priority. Your adult children may think that Mom and Dad will understand if I do not pay them back right away, and you may even feel that holding off on the payment is helpful and not a priority for you either.
Again, be careful with this type of thinking because it could all easily be pushed back into the corners of your minds, and then ultimately forgotten until a much later time. Then negative feelings may creep in. This, in turn, could lead to a broken relationship.
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Being a parent is no easy task no matter how old your children are. You want to protect and help whenever you can, and that is understandable. But, sometimes the help is actually a hindrance or can lead to damaging results. Consider what ramifications lending your adult child could lead to before you write out the check.