Jun 12, 2017

6 Biggest Struggles of Dysfunctional Couples

All couples have their problems. Some more than others. There can be days where the lying, bickering, and general displeasure is enough to make you want to call it quits. We are all humans, after all.

Emotions transform relationships into roller-coasters, but just because you are jealous, sad, or even behaving a bit selfishly, does not mean you are in a dysfunctional relationship. Yet, if you are in a relationship where the negatives outweigh the good, there are some big struggles you are going to face.

Dysfunction generates more dysfunction. There is generally no way to correct the wrongs, even when you two are trying your best. Here are a few things you are probably experiencing right now:

1. The self-sabotage

Being in a dysfunctional relationship means you will be holding in a lot of emotions because there is no one to really communicate your frustrations with. Thus, you two implode rather than explode. This is one similarity you two have, and while you may have wanted to help each other through these self-destructive habits, the two of you feed off one another’s negative energies instead.

2. The lies

“I am fine.” “Everything is going to be all right.” “I will never do that again.” You two repeat lies like a script to appease one another. You lie about all sorts of things simply because telling the truth would mean saying exactly how you feel. Since dysfunction feeds off the disordered thoughts and feelings inside the human mind, honesty would bring an end to the dysfunction by revealing the chaos to all. Lies, on the other hand, perpetuate the false sense of “normalcy.”

Read also – The Pros and Cons of Polyamorous and Monogamous Relationships

3. The lack of compromise

A healthy relationship is built on compromise. True couples understand that both individuals cannot have everything that is perfect for them all the time. When in a dysfunctional relationship, however, the two individuals never see eye to eye. There is no middle ground. Even if you see the mutually agreeable result of working together, neither side wants to let go of what they have out of sheer selfishness.

4. The never-ending drama

One tiny mistake, one failed line of communication, and the carefully constructed veneer of happiness goes up in flames. A dysfunctional couple doesn’t know how to choose their battles. Every day plays out like a soap opera for you. There are the startling revelations, the senseless arguments, and the overdramatic reactions to the things gone wrong.

5. The unresolved issues

Good couples seek out closure for their issues. They work together until the problem is fixed. In other words, if two people get into a fight over something, they do not go to bed brooding about it – they instead try looking at why the other was upset from a new perspective. Dysfunctional couples will often choose to leave the problem as an open wound, because neither person wants to give up their pride to address the issue.

6. The addiction that keeps you coming back for more

This is the key feature of dysfunctional relationships. Somehow, through all the tears, the screaming, and the persistent aggravation with one another, a sick sense of attachment developed. Despite being consistently angry and hurt, you have become dependent on the drama and the lies to keep your life going for some selfish reason.

Read also – How to Not Let Anger Destroy Your Love

The biggest struggles of dysfunctional couples are those that have to do with actions, which bring the level of trust down. A decent relationship is built on compromise and caring, two things that couples straining to hold onto one another often lack. Dysfunctional couples almost always wind up breaking up over time, because eventually one of you remembers that you are worth more than one bad relationship.

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