That one was supposed to be the one, right? Somehow the relationship fell apart, and now you are unsure of whether or not to get back in the game. Time does not wait for anyone. You do not want to feel lonely or empty anymore either.
But here is the good news: that hole in your heart doesn’t have to be filling with another ill-fitting presence. Sometimes in order to find true love and keep it, you need to discover ways to fill that void yourself.
Here are ten things to help you recover, grow stronger and maybe attract the person of your dreams without ever trying. Falling back in love may be a bad option right now.
1. Enhance your passions
Forget about the things that went wrong or failed. Pick up the pieces and try again. Practice makes perfect – with any skill. So instead of dabbling in something as a hobby, take it a step further. Enhance your passions.
- Learn how to be a make-up artist or hair stylist;
- Learn how to communicate in a new language;
- Learn a new performing or visual art;
- Learn how to ski or snowboard, paraglide or jet-ski;
- Learn the rest of the information needed for your unfinished college degree (or start a new one);
- Learn origami;
- Learn how to fix cars or computers or both.
Basically, get out of your comfort zone. Do what you used to think was impossible and realize that nothing truly is.
2. Go on vacation
The world is now yours to discover. Don’t fear to be the lone pioneer. You are the main character of your life story, after all. Heroes are usually alone for a time. Sidekicks come later. It does not matter if your vacation is just over the weekend or goes for months at a time.
If you have had a destination in mind for some time, go there. Get away from your current location. Perhaps you have some family and friends halfway across the country. So go on a road trip and document it with photographs. Hit the Caribbean to relax.
3. Discover the world
Perhaps you have bigger dreams than just a weekend at the beach. Now that you are single, you can enjoy the opportunities afforded to solitary backpackers. Many countries offer tourist visas that last for several days to 3 months, meaning you can immerse yourself in as many cultures as possible and meet hundreds of people.
While you might be thinking that you have no money to do this, consider the possibility of volunteering, working at hostels and hotels for free room and board, or using a skill set (know how to scuba dive?) to become a part-time instructor abroad.
Read also – 10 Trips to Take in Your Mid 20s
4. Get fit
A stressful relationship could have caused havoc on your body. You might have been making unhealthy food choices, like swapping morning jogs you used to love for drinking at night with your ex. Well, now is the time to rebuild your strength.
Physical activity is great for more than shedding unwanted pounds. Whether you love lifting weights, doing yoga, dancing or running mountain trails, you are giving your body a burst of eustress and endorphins that will banish depression.
Get stronger, become the version of yourself that makes you feel better than 100%. Confidence is a gorgeous dress to wear. Make the world your red carpet.
5. Make new friends
Connected to going on vacation or traveling and getting fit, the more you go out and do the things you enjoy, the more people you will become acquainted with. Even if you consider yourself an introvert, sometimes stepping outside of your bubble leads to wonderful networking possibilities.
You never know where opportunity awaits. The next person you shake hands with or compliment might wind up becoming your next platonic soulmate. This is definitely one of the best things to do instead of falling back in love.
6. Reconnect with old friends and family
Aside from making new friends, you might seek out those you lost contact with. Bad break-ups have a way of causing us to remember all those regretful things we did in the past, including that email or text you never replied to. Reach out. See who wants to get together for a spontaneous reunion and follow through.
The same goes for family. People tend to go for months and years without seeing aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. Do not wait until you can’t see them anymore. You have the freedom to visit them now, and maybe learn more about your family history in the process.
7. Get creative
Being in relationships sometimes puts people in a creative rut. When all you see is that other person, especially if they are the wrong person, the nuances of the world that cause inspiration are rendered useless. Now that you have time to yourself, see what makes you curious and brings out the urge to make something new. For example, you can:
- Paint a picture, a room, a mural, or your fingernails and lips;
- Write poetry, plays, books or self-help blogs;
- Conjure up magic in the kitchen with experimental recipes. Whether they are edible or not is up to you.
8. Lend a helping hand
The need for helping hands is great around the world. Want to overcome your own sadness? Try relieving a stricken population of their own. You might not even have to leave your own town to do this. Find a position at the local homeless shelter or animal rescue.
Want to discover other cultures? Join the Peace Corps. Try WWOOFing in a third world country. Build houses with Habitat for Humanity. It doesn’t matter how small the kindness because those who receive it will be grateful no matter what.
9. Read and write
Not just for therapeutic reasons, reading and writing open you to another world of possibility. Reading enriches your life with perspectives never seen before or lands never traveled. Regardless of the genre, reading transports you into the life of another person or to the front of your own mental labyrinth. Reading educates.
As for writing, you might get the itch to bring your own talents to paper. Do it. Write that book fearlessly. Get it published. Make money off of it. Sure, you might be rejected by traditional editors, but learn to handle that rejection and keep going. That in itself is a worthwhile lesson.
10. Love yourself
Last but probably the most important. Know who you are and what you want. Being single is not a curse. You have time to fill your life with experiences and stories. It also gives you time to think about where you might have aided in the recent break-up.
As you adventure alone, you will realize your faults. But you know also have the time to fix them. As you come to accept who you are, you will find yourself bringing in a new energy. Acceptance leads to love, in all forms.
When it comes to love, there are aspects of this life that begin to fade when we are searching for our significant other. Now that you are single, you have the opportunity to become the best version of yourself.
By doing things you never had a chance to do, you can transcend the hurt you might have been left with after a bad break-up. Enhance your passions, love yourself, love the world, and soon love will come back to you a thousand-fold. These are just a few things to do instead of falling back in love so get creative.