The road of life is never a straight line from Point A to B. There are dead-ends and detours, high roads and low roads. You may have gotten lost by taking a wrong turn. And sadly, the heart and mind are terrible at directions, and they often get split up. When you need to find your lost self, here are the breadcrumbs to lay to bring your soul home again.
1. Figure out when you stopped accepting yourself
The easiest way to lose yourself is to lose your self-worth and self-love. So ask yourself, whether it is through journaling, self-talks, counseling, or retracing your steps, when did you begin to doubt your worth? The clues are there for you to find. Once you find the beginning, you will know at which corner you dropped yourself off and said, “Be back soon.”
The true You will be waiting, because it has gone through this before. That is the beauty of self-acceptance. When you accept yourself once, you gain boundless patience for recreating and relocating the Higher Self again.
2. Stop reaching for the unreachable
But maybe you shot yourself at the moon with a cannon that had not received proper maintenance. Or your aim was off. Sure, your true self might have landed amongst the stars, but now it is out there floating in zero gravity with nothing to hold onto.
Overextending yourself and not building your ambitions on a strong foundation is setting you up for struggles that could have been avoided. So take a look at what you are standing on first. Reassess your goals. When you feel you know what has to be done, build your ladder. In time, you can return to your place among the stars.
3. It is what it is
The other thing that will split you apart from yourself is moving against the current of life. You can only do what can be done today. The past is already finished, and the future is mutable. When you learn that some things cannot be altered right now, you can focus on what is doable. Prioritize for now. Do not overanalyze tomorrow.
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4. Be selfish
Once you realize that life is what it is, you have free reign to be selfish if that means furthering your goals and happiness. Do not put off doing what your soul yearns to do. Think of it this way: You finished your errands for the day. You played your part in the world. Now, do something that cultivates your own desires, whether it is going for a walk or scrapbooking.
5. And selfless
At the same time you are allowed to be selfish, take a moment to consider how you have been treating others or the quality of your present relationship. Emotions are strong indicators of how our true self feels. Unfortunately, where we as our current selves get stuck in situations of saving face or dealing with terrible people, our Higher Selves abscond.
Have you been giving too much of your energy to the world in hopes of becoming a martyr? Are you in a toxic relationship? Or are your, perhaps, being selfish in all the wrong ways? Try volunteering in organizations aligned with your own values and interests and see what that does for you.
6. Give back to the world what you want to receive
The amount of energy you give to the world will return a thousand fold if it is the correct energy. Negativity gets amplified, as does optimism. Therefore, if you project loathing and disgust and malcontent, you are not only warding away good opportunities, you are razing all bonds you formed with your true, happy self.
7. Remember to do what you love
This needs to be repeated like a mantra. Do what you love. Promote what you love. If you like going on adventures, do it. If you like meditating, do it. Find ways to bring comfort and joy into your life by finding things that excite you. When you smile, you radiate pure beauty.
8. Reconnect with your dreams and imagination
Losing yourself is as easy as disconnecting yourself from your dreams. Society likes to tell us that our dreams are unattainable. Impossible. But dreams do not have to be dreams forever. There is always a way when you do not give up. So reconnect, rekindle your inspiration, and bring back the you that was invincible.
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9. Expand your comfort zone
Going on an adventure, trying something new, or making new dreams can be uncomfortable. But the real you is beyond the comfort. You will never find yourself again if you do not go searching for it at the ends of the known world. You know that section on maps that says, “Here there be dragons.” Guess what? That dragon is you.
Losing ourselves and finding ourselves is part of the process of life. Yet, sometimes rediscovering what was lost is hard. When you need to reconnect to the true you, these nine tips can do the trick.