Nov 27, 2016

When You Are Not the Girl He Chose to Love

Darling, first off I want to tell you how amazing you are, nothing you or anyone else for that matter can ever say or do anything that will change that. You are a woman – both goddess and comforter. Can any man ever say that? Sure he will try, but will it be true?

You have the ability to work hard, bring in money and take care of a family. You are remarkable and if a man chose to wilfully ignore how special you are and to love someone else over you, then it is his loss and not yours.

We all want to date someone that could possibly be our husband

Relationships are entered in to with the mindset of marriage. Otherwise, it is a waste of time. Yes, I do understand this is a foreign concept in today’s age with people jumping into bed (literally and figuratively) with the first person that gives them a glimmer of attention.

But eventually, we all want to date someone that could possibly be our husband – the one we commit to for the rest of our lives. That is the reason we finally allow our hearts to open and love when we wilfully and without complaint put in the extra time and effort.

He was not ready to commit

However, when it is suddenly and unexpectedly thrown back into our faces, it can leave us stranded and confused as to how you and your loved one grew apart and alienated. We ask ourselves: “What did I do wrong?” Especially after you receive an invite six months later to his marriage with the girl that always dropped by to hang out.

His excuse to you was he was not yet ready to commit to a serious relationship and that he needed time and space. You respected that, and now he has the audacity to invite you to his wedding with a girl that was supposed “only a friend.” Can you get more serious and committed than a wedding?

The tables are turned and you are angered, confused and hurt

You start questioning yourself and your worth as a person and a woman, as well as your probability of ever being a wife. You realize that he might have been the guy you chose to love, but you were not the girl he chose to love and that realization can break a person.

Nevertheless, you have the ability to learn and grow from this. It is unfortunate that things between you and him did not work out, but now you can move on to someone more fitting for you and your needs. If things did not work out between the two of you, it was for a reason.

Read also – 5 Signs You Might Be More Unapproachable Than You Thought

You deserve someone that treats you like the sun

Despite how you feel about the situation right now, he was not the person for you. He was not your soulmate, the person you have read about in books and seen in films. That love is the love you deserve, not the one that leaves you hanging off the edge and bombards you with a new committed relationship that is like a cold slap in your face and that leaves a red mark with a lasting sting.

You deserve someone who treats you like the sun, someone who is whole life revolves around you and your happiness – yes, you will treat him in a similar way and that is what will make your relationship last. You will live and love for each other and it will be magical. Your children will look at your love and know that fairy tales can exist.

Do they not deserve to see true love rather than to be forced into the middle of endless arguments between two people who simply do not love each other anymore, or one that loves endlessly and another who cannot be bothered in the slightest, or the soul-sucking custody battles because someone always wants to be the one winning?

It is psychological torture, for both you and the other parties involved. This would without a doubt have been the case if you married someone who does not want you – the toxicity of such a relationship would have ruined you. Be thankful that you were spared the heartache and mental wounds.

You will eventually meet your sun

Someday, and not too far away, you will meet your sun and he will be everything you read about and saw in the movies. Yes, no love is perfect and you will have your ups and downs, but at least the foundation will be solid. The both of you will always be able to return to the essence of what made you fall in love and you will be able to work your way back to where you once were.

The world has a deprivation of love, but that does not mean you have to settle for less. Work hard for that love, look for it, pray for it and most of all, patiently wait for it. In the end, it will all be worth the wait.

When you are not looking for love, it falls into your lap

Do not waste any more time on trying to figure out why one man chose another woman over you – it will drive you crazy. Instead, focus on what you want in life, do not diminish yourself and your worth for anyone and put yourself first for once, discover what it is that makes you tick and chase it.

It is often that when we are not looking for love that it falls into our laps. Yet, we need to be at a good place mentally and emotionally. See this as a time for healing and exploration. When you are ready, do some reflection on the relationship and what your part was in it; if there are things you need to work on, do that. Do it constructively and then put it back where it belongs, in the past.

Read also – 4 Universal Reasons We Might Be Staying Attached to the Wrong People

I read a quote once on Pinterest that talks about a woman that has been through hell and back and came out better, stronger and as pure as an angel. The man did not break her. No, he did not own that kind of power over her. Now, it is up to you to decide not to give him that kind of power. Be strong in your worth and stand tall – you are a warrior, hold on to that.

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