17 Best Woody Allen Quotes And Sayings

“I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.” – Woody Allen

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” – Woody Allen

“Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.” – Woody Allen

“Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.” – Woody Allen

“If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.” – Woody Allen

“Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.” – Woody Allen

“I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.” – Woody Allen

“I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.” – Woody Allen

“I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.” – Woody Allen

“Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.” – Woody Allen

“His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.” – Woody Allen

“More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.” – Woody Allen

“Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!” – Woody Allen

“I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.” – Woody Allen

“After all, there are worse things in life than death. If you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know what I'm talking about.” – Woody Allen

“A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight.” – Woody Allen

“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” – Woody Allen