Apr 30, 2015

8 Reasons to Have a Reality Check Before Marriage

The topic of happy marriage has always been relevant, because family is the top priority for many people. Unfortunately, there’s no single recipe for a successful marriage – everyone follows their own path. Some people tend to get married without premarital cohabitation; others prefer to live together at least one year before making a serious life changing step. Unlike the first category of people, I think that so called ‘trial marriage’ is not a degrading and wrong decision. It gives you a chance to understand whom you’re going to marry.

At first glance, it may sound cynical, but when it comes to your happiness, you should be more careful, if you don’t want to get into a trap. This life is full of pretense and artificiality. Many people put a mask to hide their true faces and reach a desirable goal, no matter what. When dating, they try to put their best foot forward, but when they finally get married, they radically change their behavior and lifestyle. I’m sure that only time and cohabitation can open your eyes to many evident things and help you know the length of your partner’s foot, if necessary. The test-driving marriage has more advantages than disadvantages. Here are some of them:

1. You’ll discover your partner’s inner world

People are very secretive creatures. They tend to keep their thoughts to themselves and suppress different emotions. When you start living under the same roof with your significant other, you’ll be able to explore their inner world and the darkest corners of their soul. Your hobbies, interests, traditions and values will help your partner realize what type of person you’re. It’s desirable to know almost everything about your loved one, if you don’t want to become panic-stricken right after the marriage.

Everything depends on your character, though. I’m the one who always makes a mountain out of a molehill and believes that even trifles can make huge difference or lead to divorce. Not long ago, my workmate divorced with her husband, because of his strange religious beliefs and practices. I think that if she could know about his spiritual life earlier, she would never get married to him.

2. You’ll get familiar with your partner’s habits

Every human being has a great number of both positive and negative habits. When dating, your partner can masterfully conceal a terrible truth and hide annoying bad habits. But it’s not the best way out, because sooner or later you’ll know about everything. Any relationship built on secrecy and deception is doomed to failure. In such a case, a trial marriage will dot the I’s and cross the T’s. You’ll have an opportunity to analyze the lifestyle of your loved one. It will either stimulate them to get rid of bad habits for the sake of love or show them up in their true colors.

Remember, people aren’t perfect. However, if you’re sick and tired of everything and have no desire to tolerate their bad habits anymore, it’s better to break up and stop complicating your lives.

3. You’ll become more mature and experienced

If you’ve never tried to live with your significant other, then cohabitation will give you a wonderful lesson. Every day, you’ll get to know something new, deal with difficult situations and surmount life barriers together. You’ll create a common budget, traditions, set goals and behave like a real family. Furthermore, you’ll have to take many other responsibilities, because this union is the first attempt to create a healthy and happy family.

Today many young sweet lovers tend to look at the world through rose colored glasses. They aren’t ready to cope with harsh realities of life, because they’re used to live comfortably with their parents. I can state with assurance that premarital cohabitation is a wonderful school that can make you experienced and strong enough to start a family with your love.

Read also – 8 Easy Ways to Know If Your Relationship Is Over

4. You’ll test the strength of your love

Do you believe that one day your love will fade away? Don’t worry, a pure love will live in the hearts forever. Every couple needs a reality check to understand that their love is not just a temporary passion or addiction to the person they’re in relationship with. People who have already been married can say that it’s incredibly difficult to keep the spark alive in a marriage. Life is not a bed of roses and is full of many problems. Sometimes emotional ups and downs in relationships can make people accept that their love’s fake and weak.

Some people say that sexual relationships aren’t the most important aspect of a marriage. The statistics show that they’re mistaken, because both men and women usually cannot be happy without intimacy. As a result, intimate incompatibility can gradually poison pure feelings and destroy your marriage. Sure, neither astrologers nor fortune-tellers can help you solve this problem, because every human being is unique and individual. Only a few months of cohabitation before marriage can show you whether you’re compatible with your partner or not.

5. You’ll go through hard times together

Today the cherished dream of everyone is to get married with a wonderful, sincere and devoted person. Whether you want it or not, it’s almost impossible to be absolutely sure in your partner, because their words may not coincide with the reality. When people get married, they wholeheartedly promise to be together for richer and for poorer, for better and for worse. But a lack of money, daily routine, different diseases and other challenges of life can break their promises in a twinkling of an eye.

You should keep in mind that there’re a lot of selfish and obstinate personalities who cannot come to a compromise, because they’re used to stick to their guns in every difficult situation. If you’re not the one who’ll always swallow the pride and give in to your partner, then your future marriage won’t be successful.

6. It can be a good trial of your fidelity

No matter how you slice it, premarital cohabitation is a comfortable and beneficial thing. Both partners are free like birds in the sky, because they’re not married yet. Only moral responsibilities and the feeling of love can make them be faithful to each other.

If you want to check the fidelity of your loved one, you should give them complete freedom. If your partner doesn’t misuse this freedom and gives their heart to you, then it means that your love is true and their intentions are good. But if you suddenly find out that your significant other was unfaithful to you, then you’ll have an opportunity cross that cruel and double-faced person out of your life.

Read also – 7 Temptations That Can Ruin Your Relationship

7. Get in touch with his family

Communication with the family members of your partner is not always an easy thing. They can exert either positive or negative influence on your relationship. It’s very important to get acquainted with them, because one day they may become an essential part of your family.

If their parents are against your relationship, you should be ready to cope with constant stress and heated confrontation. In such a case, you’d better weigh all pros and cons to decide whether the game is worth the candle. If they support your common decision to shack up before marriage, then you’ll be able to make good friends with these people.

8. You can easily break up

Premarital cohabitation has always been attractive to those who don’t want to depend on a marriage certificate. If you feel that you’re absolutely different, you can wave goodbye, without sharing furniture and starting extremely painful divorce proceedings. But it doesn’t mean that it’s just a game. Both of you should realize that love is a constant struggle that consists of quarrels and reconciliations. You should fight for your love till the end, because two people living together are almost a family.

I hope this article will help you make a right life decision. By all means, you should listen to your heart, because even shacking up will never inoculate your from divorce. Do your best to quickly explore the nature of your loved one and turn your cohabitation into a real marriage. If you’ve decided that you’re incompatible, you should break up – it’s bad to steal someone’s happiness. Do you think premarital cohabitation is still necessary today? Have you ever lived with your partner before marriage? Share your experiences.

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