I know you love your kids and would do anything you could for them. I know because I feel the same way about my kids. If I could take away any pain they experience, or help them overcome a problem, then their lives would be great, right?
I wish. No, not even when parents have good intentions would their children’s lives be great. Being an overbearing parent is not healthy for your child or for you. It teaches your child that they are incapable of doing things for themselves. They may feel as if you do not trust them or feel they can’t do anything right, so that is why you step in.
This can lead to resentment as well as a child who truly is incapable of doing things for themselves. They need to learn from you how to solve their own problems and that they can grow from pain or difficult life lessons. So, how can you avoid being the overbearing parent type? Here are five tips to think about.
1. They have to experience failures
Think about the worst case scenario that would happen if you let your child do it themselves? What if they fall, fail, or flounder? That is okay. Let them do it regardless so they can learn from it.
2. Guide but never urge
Guide them without taking over. Allow them the chance to make decisions on their own with a little guidance as needed. You can do this at any age, even with toddlers. They may need you to show them the options they have for making the decision.
For example, if a toddler wanted to eat an oatmeal pie for breakfast, but you would prefer them to eat something healthier, then you would let them know that by eating the oatmeal pie for breakfast, they would not be eating healthy. Then you could have them either choose to eat the pie for dessert at lunch or dinner later as a treat.
3. Be there emotionally
Ask your child if they want or need your help. If they say no, then back out. You do not have to leave them alone. Be there emotionally rather than physically in case they need you. There will be times that they do want you to be there for support, and there will be times they want to try it alone. That is great because that shows that they are growing up in a healthy way.
4. Handle any problem together
If you come across a situation where you feel your child was mistreated and the bear claws come out, step back, take a deep breath, and listen to the other sides of the story before you react. Then, discuss how to handle the situation from there with your child. They need to understand that there is a side to every story, and maybe they over reacted.
5. Show your love
Show your love for your child in other ways than doing things for them. Allowing them the opportunity to do things for themselves automatically shows you love them, as long as they know you are there if they need you.
Read also – The Most Harmful and Helpful Types of Parenting
There is nothing wrong for wanting the best for your child and loving them so much that you would do anything for them. What is best is to guide them as they make decisions and solve their own problems so they can grow and learn how to handle life themselves. That is great parenting!