The perennial problem: you want kids and he doesn’t; he wants kids and you don’t. But what should you do when he doesn’t want a baby? You love your partner and you want to start a family with him, but you can’t imagine a family without kids. In fact, no one can. You want to find the solution, but all in vain. ‘Maybe I should break up with him,’ ‘Maybe kids are not so important in life,’ ‘Well, I will marry him, but do I really want to spend the whole life waiting for him to want a baby?’ You are overwhelmed by all of these thoughts and it seems there’s no way out. I hope these little tips will help you make a smart decision.
Let your partner know that you can’t imagine your life without kids
It’s important to be honest with your partner. Tell him directly that you can’t marry a man who doesn’t want kids, no matter how much you love him. Be honest and don’t hide your feelings. If he truly loves you, he will try to understand you and explain to you why he doesn’t want a baby. After all, couples should always talk about kids before tying the knot. Just don’t be afraid of the breakup. It’s better to end up your relationship now (if he wants it) than to regret for your mistakes and wasted years.
Don’t push your partner
It’s so easy to ruin your relationship, but do you really want to be filled with remorse till your dying day? If you love your partner, you should try to understand him. Maybe he’s been going through a really hard time now. Maybe he has some financial problems. Or, maybe he lost a child a few years ago and he is not ready for a new baby. Don’t push him and don’t talk about kids every single day. Figure out the reason and try to close the subject for several months. Chances are that he will appreciate your understanding and patience.
Give him time to think
If you feel like he is getting angry, stop your discussion. Give him a few minutes to calm down and think over your words. Fighting is not the best way to handle the situation. Because of his anger, he might not even remember your words. When you speak calmly and you give your partner time to think and to speak, it’s much easier to understand each other and reach agreement. Explain to your partner that kids won’t be a burden to him and your relationship won’t change. Moreover, remind him that when he will be old, children will take care of him. Discuss all of the benefits of having kids and let him time to think. Hopefully, he will change his mind and you’ll soon have a sweet little bundle of joy.
Discuss financial issues
If your partner doesn’t want a baby because of money, try to discuss financial issues together. While having a baby can put a dent in your family finances, it’s not the end of the world and it’s still possible to save money and live your life to the fullest, but with kids. You need to learn how to manage your money properly. Sit down and discuss your financial issues together. Maybe you can’t afford a baby this year (it’s a great idea to pay off all your debts before having kids), but it doesn’t mean that you can’t have kids next year. However, if your partner doesn’t want to spend money on kids at all, when he actually can afford a baby, that’s another problem to discuss.
It’s really hard to realize that your partner doesn’t want kids and it’s even harder to make a decision on what to do with your relationship. Do you think your relationship is worth continuing? Do you think a family is incomplete without children? Share your thoughts with us, please.