Mar 12, 2019

When a woman becomes pregnant, her husband is supposed to be the pillar of strength that she depends on. Often though, husbands make mistakes – thoughtless ones, selfish ones, or simply careless ones. While it can be difficult to make sure you never make a mistake, there is one change that is easy enough: not saying the wrong thing. Here are 10 thoughts on things that your pregnant wife should never have to hear. 

1. A nasty crack about her weight

Since pregnancy makes a woman grow, it is instinctive to want to make a weight-related observation or two. When a woman is pregnant, though, she tends to be extremely worried about the way she looks.

You should never make one of these annoying observations: the baby must be a big one; you must have twins; they say girls steal their mothers’ beauty; you’re going to need a C-section to get that one out; you really are eating for two; breastfeeding will get rid of all that weight. 

2. I am sure we are having a…

There are plenty of traditional beliefs about making predictions about a pregnancy. Guesswork that is based on the shape of the belly, though, tends to be tiresome and depressing. It does not reflect well on the husband’s intelligence, either. It is best to accept that it is not possible to predict anything about a baby without medical tests. 

3. Being snippy about her mood

Pregnancy involves extreme hormonal changes. Women go through not only mood swings, but also quick changes in the way they eat, sleep, and feel about sex. The worst thing that husbands can do is to make insensitive comments involving the word “bitchiness.”

Husbands should be their wives’ caregivers, making sure that they always have enough to eat and have important concerns taken care of. An obvious display of care can always make a woman’s mood better. 

4. Asking if she plans to quit

Women, once they become pregnant, are usually terrified of what might happen to their careers. Bringing up the possibility of a lost career is hardly sensitive. Instead, you should discuss how you will be there, helping her every step of the way so that she can get back to her career as soon as possible. 

5. Complaints about her neediness

Not only do women need a lot of physical help when they are pregnant, they often need reassurance as well. Even women who are usually very independent can crave attention when they become pregnant. The gentlemanly thing to do would be to indulge your wife’s needs and be happy for being able to be there for a wonderful woman. 

6. You would better enjoy being able to read/exercise/watch movies now

Certainly, women do worry about not getting their lives back when they become mothers. There is no need to point out the possibility. What you can point out is how you will always be there to help out so that she can get back to the things she loves soon. 

7. If it is a twin pregnancy, I hope we get one of each

Expressing hopes about the gender of the baby to come is not sensitive. The idea of being a parent is to love your children unconditionally. 

8. Finally… it is about time

Husbands are sometimes so anxious about how long it takes for their wives to become pregnant that they can’t help but say something insensitive when it finally happens. Their wives take the comment to mean that they have passed some kind of test. It is best to simply take the news with gratitude. 

9. So should I get plenty of pickles?

The assumption that pregnant women crave pickles is not entirely accurate. The craving is different for different women. More importantly, mentioning the wrong food can actually feel terrible – many pregnant women are positively sickened by the idea of pickles. Casual assumptions about the food cravings involved in pregnancy tend to feel mildly insulting, too. 

10. So will you be going through this again?

Men often like to kid around about how pregnancy is so hard, it would be scary to choose to go through it again. A pregnancy is not anything to joke about, though. It involves real challenges. It is far nicer to simply say that you will be there to offer support if there’s to be another baby.

Pregnancy is a happy time so make sure you do not ruin this happiness. Allow your wife to be needy and moody, because pregnancy does not happen each year – unless you want it, of course.

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