Oct 31, 2016

I Am Turning 25 and Feeling Absolutely Lost

What does it feel like to be 25 and feel lost in your life? When I was 18 I knew what I wanted, to graduate, pass the board exam and have a stable job. I managed to surpass all that.

When I was 21 I felt the need to focus on my career and enjoyed going out with my friends. And yes I met someone when I was 21 and thought he would be the big shift in my so calculated life. He was the break in all the stress of my job and he was the routine I can’t go a day without.

I was so sure he was all that I wanted then, crossed out every other goal I had before him. But in a few months everything I hoped for went away with the very person I thought I could be with forever.

Right then, I lost my direction again. I knew I could be happy with my family and friends but losing him made a very big scar in my heart. It took me so long to heal. It took me years to finally begin seeing things in a positive aspect again.

And here I am now, even if I have gained back my self-confidence, I am still feeling lost in some areas of my life. I have a better career to think about but I still feel quite not satisfied. I still feel like I’m not good enough. I constantly go out with my group of friends but at the end of the day, I still feel alone.

I am feeling like I am lagging off behind my contemporaries

I do not know if it is just a mid-20′s life crisis or it is just birthday blues that makes me feel this way. It seems like everyone at my age or most were either getting married, having a baby, getting promoted at work or traveling around the world and I am just stuck at nowhere. Still here. Still plain.

Not that I hate my life now, I totally love how simple my life is, not having so much money has its perks too. I can just spend my day with my family or be happy on receiving salary every payday. If I have more, maybe I will think differently.

Maybe I will lose time for family. It just feels tiring to be the only girl who remains in the zone. When people see you, they will just say, “nothing’s changed”. Only that my hair grew longer or that I became fat or thin, depends on my stress level for the month.

It is okay to feel stress. My point is, I am turning 25 and I am feeling lost and left behind, and I have read it was normal to feel that way. You can’t be positive and happy all the time. It is alright to admit defeat and recognize weaknesses in our lives.

Read also – 12 Things Every 20-Something Girl Wants in Life

I just want to stop feeling lost

I just wish I would stop feeling lost because I knew my track before, I want to follow it and reach my goals. When I was younger I lived by the rules, pattern and constant assurance that the future is within my grasp and according to my plans. I have forgotten that there is more to life, I should enjoy, take a chill pill, know that God is up to something good for me.

The best love story I haven’t experienced yet, the best push in a career that I don’t just simply daydream but work hard to get and the fulfillment that can be found when I start realizing everything happens for a reason.

At this age, your game plan changes

The world is designed to make you question yourself but every heartbeat will let you know your purpose. If everything is not yet going right, then it is not yet the end goal. Your goal is to be better than your fears and anxieties.

At this age, your game plan changes. My game plan somehow shifted to being an adult who knows what she wants and will definitely work hard to get it. I am not interested in other games, I am only interested in stability, commitment and assurance in everything I do.

My lack of direction was somehow a knock on my own heart that hey you are not here to compare yourself to anyone. You do not have to figure out everything at once.

Life is simple but we keep making it complicated

It is alright to set goals and achieve them. It is even better to have people who support you and believe in your dreams. Whether you succeed or fail, always remember that you have at least tried and that is something to be proud of.

It is okay to still be happily single at 25, do not allow your worth as a woman to be validated by your relationship status. It is fine to cherish your recent job and learn experiences as you work. Even if you can’t see yourself staying for too long in that career, at least you have progressed as a professional. It is never too late to be something else and discover another career path.

It is never our obligation to please others by having it all together. Luck is tricky in one’s life. Change is inevitable. We either get lucky or be surprised by sudden changes. Know that whatever motivates you will help you grow.

Read also – 8 Books I Am Happy I Read Before 25

After re-evaluating my life’s purpose this past few day, I know I am not just meant to be stuck forever, I will definitely move and level up. I know my friends are getting so fired up with their own busy lives, as mothers, professionals or whatsoever, and I will be a career oriented girl too who knows what she wants and definitely pushes hard to get it.

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