The Pros and Cons of Polyamorous and Monogamous Relationships

Touting the idea of free love often comes with many sideways glances and a question of what kind of debauched household you grew up in. Really though, is breaking tradition and dating or marrying multiple people at once a bad thing? Is monogamy truly the ideal situation, or does being polyamorous have its perks? Both sides actually have pros and cons, so ultimately, you should do what feels right to you.

Polyamorous relationships

Going poly means dating more than one person at a time. Sometimes, these open relationships last for years, with all members understanding and cooperating in a wonderful way. But having multiple partners brings risks and alienation from those who see monogamy as the only way.

4 Pros – Polyamorous relationships

1. Free love

Being able to fall in love freely and not have to worry about limiting your feelings to one person for all eternity is kind of liberating. You feel free of the changes of social constructs. You will be repeatedly rewarded with new experiences garnered from being able to love as many people as your heart desires.

2. Personal growth

Polyamory will be a challenge, because you will constantly be meeting people who bring you face to face with the latest version of yourself then make you see how you can change yet again, finding a newer, improved version. You will be more open to a constant flood of new experiences, adventures, and possibilities. Polyamory is certainly not about settling.

3. Opportunities

Dating more than one person means you have a chance to meet a bunch of people at once. This opens up opportunities for finding the select one or two humans you want to remain with for more than several months.

4. Support

Having multiple partners means you have additional pillars of compassion surrounding you. That exchange shoulder to cry on can mean a lot when others are not available.

3 Cons – Polyamorous relationships

1. Jealousy

People in polyamorous relationships typically begin to feel jealous when they are not the apple of another person’s eye. It is human nature, after all.

2. Instability

Because you may be swapping partners in and out all the time, trying to find people who are compatible or just tolerant enough of one another can be a challenge. You will also be faced with juggling the lives of several people at once.

3. Social ostracism

Polyamory is generally frowned upon in most societies and religions. It is considered unacceptable, and thus you and your partners may not be treated well when in public.

Read also – 7 Signs He Is Going to Dump You

Monogamous relationships

The traditional relationship where two people unite. Monogamy generally comes about when two individuals have been together for a set period of time and decide that there is no one else in the world they would rather spend their time with. Of course, some cultures only allow for monogamous marriages while others are more fluid in their approach. Because of this, some people are questioning whether monogamy is better than polyamory.

4 Pros – Monogamous relationships

1. Lower risk of venereal diseases

Having a single partner is great when you fear to get an STI from someone you randomly slept with one night. Because you are having sex with one person, you know what they have and what they do not have.

2. Greater financial security

The two of you may have your own jobs, but you are pulling your income together for a stronger amount of money than you would have alone. In other words, a monogamous relationship helps you meet your financial goals faster and gain a sense of security with debt, medical bills, and other expenses that would be a challenge to overcome if you are living and working alone…or putting out for multiple dates with multiple people.

3. Tradition is upheld

Many cultures and religions take great pride in monogamy. For those people who seek to uphold to tradition and not be cast out from society are more likely to go for a monogamous relationship. Plus, because monogamy is more widely accepted than polyamory, you have a larger dating pool.

4. Emotional security

In a committed, monogamous relationship, two people come together to form a team. You never have to worry about being jealous or feeling unloved, because the two of you should love and respect one another. That is not to say there won’t be issues. But when that happens, you will have the clarity of knowing what to do and how to do it, even if that means leaving the person to be single for a while.

3 Cons – Monogamous relationships

1. People change

No explanation needed. People change over time. The person you fell in love with can very well change, and you might not be able to get out of the relationship once you committed to it.

2. Boredom

Like the previous disadvantage, when people do not change, sometimes you get stuck in a rut. This will put a serious dampener on the monogamous relationship.

3. Loss of adventure

Settling down generally means giving up the hopes and dreams you had for a future with only you in it. Now, you have to worry about another person’s future too.

Read also – 7 Reasons Your Boyfriend Suddenly Lost Interest

How you live your life and the people you want to love comes down to choice. Monogamy and polyamory both have their perks and downsides. In the end, you have to be able to communicate with your partner(s) about how you feel and what you want.

It is not uncommon for polyamorous couples to eventually return to monogamy after a number of years. People change, and so too does our concept of love. So be open to anything, and never stop looking for happiness.