I Hear the Ticking of My Emotional Bomb That Is About to Explode

Mar 14, 2017

Life has a funny way of throwing humongous curve balls at you, one is so vast and big that it knocks you flat on your bum while it just shrugs and walks away to the next fool and shouts “Until next time, Bucko.” And before you know it, next time comes and you are flat on your behind, having to pick yourself up all over again.

I feel it inside me

Yes, this is currently my life situation and I am not as naive as to believe it will be the last time. Yet, as I am currently sitting on my burning bum, I not only hear a sound reminiscent of a ticking bomb, but also feel it inside me.

That ominous foreshadowing of imminent doom is here, close to where I would put my hand in solemn prayer or reverence towards my God or country. It is ticking and it is about to explode and where will that leave me – in pieces, unable to gather myself together again.

Have we not all been at that place before, where we feel that we have reached the point of no return? Where too much hay has been put upon our fork? How do we disarm that emotional ticking time bomb in an age where everything revolves around work and money, with no time to stop and take care of our emotional, spiritual and physical selves?

This article is merely a reflection – a journaling of sorts. The advice given here is personal and what has previously worked for me and which I know I would have to make the time for to ensure that I come out whole and happy. And perhaps you will receive something out of this too:

Acceptance of lack of control

It is time that I realize that some things simply cannot be controlled. That includes the environment around me, the situation I am in and change in general. We are not gods, despite how much we would like to believe that we have that type of godlike power.

The best thing for me is to put together a list of what I can and cannot control within this turbulent situation. It is time to put that anxiety of having no control at bay and focus on what I can change – one has to count every small victory in the journey. It is important to look at the bigger picture and build towards that in the best way I can.

Read also – How to Be More Spiritual in a Mad World

Finding a safe outlet

It is so important to find a safe outlet where you can express your emotions and deal with it in a safe, healthy and pro-active way. Whether that is talking to a trusted person in your life, journaling, painting or hitting the gym and exercising it out of your system – we have to get all the negativity out.

I have the tendency to lash out under pressure and more often than not, I scare myself – knowing that the person reacting is not the person who I really am.

Talking to someone you trust will help you feel loved and relieve the stress. The person might also be a source of not only comfort, but of wisdom, providing some wonderful advice on the situation. I have never been one to talk about what is happening emotionally inside me, but I have been one to the journal.

Did you know that journaling has been known to decrease stress and improve self-esteem? I think it is time I take my journal out from underneath all my scattered and miscellaneous papers next to my bed and start journaling again. It has always done wonders.

Make time for you

Yes, time is something very, very scarce and precious, but we have to arrange it in such a way that we have time for ourselves… Time for doing things we love and are passionate about. If we do not, we are sure to explode and our talents and passions will go to waste.

My heart, despite how much I have denied it over the past few months, has been calling out to the performing arts. I know that somehow, somewhere I will have to heed that call. This is not only my hobby, but it is my oxygen. Hobbies take your mind off of everyday life and enable you to be freely yourself at the moment, relieving stress along the way.

Practicing mindfulness

The cliché of them all, but so important, if not the most. Quieting and centering yourself in such a way that you release all the built-up stress and negativity that has been haunting you at night and bending your back in such a way that everyone around you can see that you are carrying around the world on your shoulders.

Meditation allows your whole body, not only your mind, to take a break from the day and thus enables a person to experience an increase in confidence and self-worth. It also improves your creativity and allows you to regain focus. Why have I not done this yet?

Alright, so I am sitting on a burning behind at the moment and it feels as if I am about to explode, but I have a choice from this moment on. Am I going to continue carrying on the way I am currently going on and eventually end up being blown into scattered and disfigured pieces of a person I once was – that is, if I am lucky enough to still have pieces?

Or am I going to accept that life has these various amounts of hard-hitting curve balls and it is up to me to see the good and possibility of growth in it – despite how I want to fight that growth and shove it back into life’s face?

Read also – 10 Crucial Things to Start Doing for Yourself Now

You know what, I choose to breathe in acceptance and the possibility of a better and stronger version of myself. Therefore, before I journal, meditate and pick up my hobby again, I would like to just fall back on my back and look up:

Lying here having shifted the weight from my aching and burning bum to an even spread of my whole body, I feel the anxiety and stress of the last couple of months seep into the floor. I open my eyes and I am awed by the stars that beckon me and whisper sweet possibilities into my ear.

Sometimes all you have to do when you have been knocked down is lie back and look up at the stars, knowing that somewhere out there, there is something bigger and better at play.