How to Motivate Yourself to Start a New Relationship

Nov 21, 2016

There is a Turkish proverb I love, “No road is long with good company.” I think it says a lot about relationships in general, not just the lovey-dovey kind. When you have someone by your side through life, climbing figurative mountains is less daunting. You and those who support you, that you have relationships with, form an intricate web of motivation. You never let each other down.

But what happens when you have been let down one too many times by people or someone who was supposed to be right? What if you lost the ability to trust and no longer have the ambition to form connections with other individuals?

The choice of whether or not you want to make new relationships falls onto your shoulders – and yours alone. However, if you are ready to take the step, if you are tired of tackling obstacles alone, of being your own cheerleader, then it is time for some pep talk.

Motivation forms from goal-seeking behaviors

Let me break that down for you. Think of something crazy you have always wanted to try. It could be parasailing, skydiving, rock-climbing, or knitting socks for your cat. None of these things are fun to do alone, right? What heightens the sense of adventure and intrigue is that at the end of the day there should be someone you turn to and say, “Thanks for the memories.”

So if you want to have those adventures, even if it is just a road trip across the country, you need a second-in-command. Otherwise, it is going to be a boring ride. That second-in-command will be your partner to navigate when you can’t. They will bolster your confidence.

In other words, if you want to make new friends or meet a potential life partner, you need to get out and start discovering the world. Start doing. Be proactive.

Seek out groups of like-minded people

Once you have decided the hobby you want to dabble in, seek out groups of like-minded people. This can be done anywhere. Think of the online sites where you can learn about meet-ups. Or look for tournaments or group workshops for things you are interested in.

Chances are, you might not feel motivated to go out amongst the public. So think of it this way: making changes will not only help you meet new people, it will help you foster a better relationship with yourself and your personal aspirations.

Feel your best

When you feel better about yourself, you are apt to attract positive people. Plus, you are doing things that interest you. If you continue to have fun, you will keep going back. The reward of happiness will cultivate a consistent pattern. Consistency plays into motivation.

Give yourself the opportunity to socialize

Also worth mentioning is the fact that showing up more means people begin to recognize you. You will find that acquaintances become friends rather easily when you share mutual interests and have something to talk about.

So, in short, go somewhere that simultaneously benefits your interests and advancement while giving you the opportunity to socialize. This includes the following:

Yoga class
Group fitness class (think Zumba and Les Mills workouts)
Wine and Paint workshops
Arts and crafts
Going to the bookstore and people-watching
Reading at the park or the café
Talking a walk around outlet shops or flea markets
Running a marathon
Hiking
Group tours in museums
Remote work-and-travel opportunities
Travel and stay at a hostel
Cruises
Concerts
College conversation courses for a second language
Join something like a book club
(if you are introverted) Join online discussion forums or other virtual reality communities

The list could go on and on. Schedule these things like an appointment and hold yourself accountable. But easier said than done right? Sometimes finding a place to go that offers something you would want to do weekly and have the time for is difficult.

Sometimes there is so much going on that making friends or making romantic connections is the least of your problems. Just remember that a little bit of communication with the outside world is beneficial. It does not have to be much, and you do not have to start big; but you do need it.

If you need something, you will find a way. That is the last thing I want to tell you about making a new relationship. You will find through small conversations based on your interests that it is really cool to share your experiences and thoughts with others. In knowing that, you will be compelled towards fortifying the developing friendship or romantic relationship, because that happiness is something you want to share.

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