Self-Love Is the Most Powerful Weapon Against Judgment
Perhaps you have heard that “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you” since you were a little child. Yes, we were told that people who were mean to us were really only jealous.
In fact, most of us were told to grow a thick skin and ignore any criticism at all. But as we got older, we realized that no one ever actually taught us how to do this. However, it does not occur to us that we were never taught and we simply think that we are not doing a good enough job of ignoring the haters.
It all starts in school
Once we get to high school, we might start hearing people talk about weight. Suddenly we panic and think that we are too skinny or too fat and that something is wrong with us, so we try to “fix” the problem.
We are ready to try all of the fad diets, get a gym membership and vow to never eat another gram of sugar ever again. But that usually is not sustainable and we end up reverting to our old habits, beating ourselves up about our “failure.”
And then continues in the college
Then when we begin attending college, we might feel like we are falling behind in our classes. In reality, we are probably on track with the rest of our classmates, but maybe we were part of a group project and a fellow member said that we were stupid.
At first, we did not think much of it but then we noticed ourselves repeating their words when our score was not as high as we had hoped for on that next test or when we did not get the internship we applied for.
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And even in the office
We are not immune to this judgment when we are adults in the “real world” anymore. We will all experience working for someone who is too bossy or does not appreciate us.
No matter what the situation is, the majority of us will internalize this judgment throughout our entire lives. We think that words will never hurt, but in reality, they do. And they can be incredibly painful.
So what is the way to protect ourselves from judgment? Should we just keep our ears and eyes closed wherever we go? Of course not! The answer is self-love. Self-love is the most powerful weapon against judgment.
Self-love is really your weapon against judgment
When we truly love ourselves and are at peace with who we are, that is when people’s judgment and harsh words do not hurt us. When you increase the amount of love that you have for yourself, you build a filter around your heart that only lets kindness in. Here are some tips for increasing your self-love:
- Practice self-care. This can mean spending more time reading, getting massages, drinking enough water and eating healthy foods.
- Practice positivity. Even if it feels stupid initially, trust me – speaking positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror is a fantastic habit to get into. Before you know it, your inner voice will begin repeating these affirmations to yourself every time you start to let someone’s judgment creep in.
- Feel your emotions. Although it can be unhealthy to wallow in sorrow, anger or self-pity, it is important that we allow ourselves to feel our feelings, even if they are unpleasant. When we allow ourselves to do this and truly accept our feelings, we are able to move on much faster without internalizing negativity.
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Remember that self-love is the most powerful weapon against judgment. It is never too late to increase your self-love! Start by practicing some of the simple tips above daily and you will notice the difference in no time.
The next time someone judges you or speaks rudely to you, you will hear that positive and loving inner voice take over your thoughts.